Christmas Eve…I heard on the Today show while I was putting away laundry this morning that this is the best retail season since 2006 and then proceeded to list a number in the 40-something billion dollars. That’s BILLION with a B. In a time when I am trying to find simplicity in my own life, I can’t fathom spending that much on STUFF.
And this is not a segue or excuse for my Christmas shopping. Honestly, this has been one of the most stressful holidays periods in quite some time. John and I spent the week preceding and following Thanksgiving living in a hotel room. While we are thankful for our job, it often means time away from our home, when we most need it. After returning to Telluride, we rolled straight into World Cup preparation, then I drove to Steamboat for another event, only to arrive home Wednesday.
My wrapped and half packed holiday gifts greeted me right next to my desk where I left them on the 18th of November. It brought tears to my eyes. Not only have I not had time to spend on myself working out, eating right, reading, journaling or whatever I need to maintain a state of mind, but I couldn’t even take time to remember the most important people in my life…especially my wonderful and amazing husband.
…and for whatever reason, I have been weeping at the drop of a hat missing my Mom….like now. Mexican wedding cakes, standing rib roast, roastie potatoes…Christmas was so much of my mother. And even though it was about family, ever since my Mom died, I feel like my family has died. She was so much like Nana, the calm in the midst of the storm. The love that was unconditional. The one who wouldn’t let me wipe her tears when her last few hours had come.
So today, on this Christmas Eve day, as the sun shines and the skies are the Colorado blue that I so love, I will take the day for myself by going snowshoeing; I will take the time for my family to finish wrapping the gifts that didn’t get out in time; I will spend the time with friends and co-workers letting them know how much they are loved and appreciated; but mostly, I will let the one who is most important in my life, my “cute boy”, know that he is just that.
And I will aspire to be more like my Mom: the calm in the midst of the storm, the unconditional love, the woman who I admire more than any other. I just wish I had had the time to tell her that…
Merry Christmas everyone!